Religious crusades are where you find them. And you can find them when you least expect them. Religion now seems to want to deny a speaking engagement to President Barack Obama. While it’s ok to separate church and state on paper – it’s an entirely different situation when a real life attempt is made – on church property.
Now the Catholic leadership seems to have a strong affinity for the Zionist state of Israel - perhaps President Obama could be replaced with a Zionist speaker?
Zionism and Catholicism – seemingly, unlikely partners in religion, are more together than one might expect.
One of the world’s religions could tolerate holocaust of Arabs while the other world religion was reluctant to talk about using the body of children for adult personal, private enjoyment.
Most likely, that illegal, immoral act against children puts a “monkey” on the backs of young children when they are least able to carry such a burden.
At that time children should be getting help with their school work from concerned adults. Children should be more concerned about how to do fractions than how to do those adult acts. While a normal relationship between adult and child might include teaching the child how to do fractions, Western civilizations forbid the sexual exploitation of children. And yet it happens. And yet it happened.
Were Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops out front during the search for answers to the problem of the exploitation of children for the private pleasure of adults? Some called the development of adults – who would so use children – infantile - suggesting that function of adult behavior never fully developed to adult stage.
The world was shaken by the Zionist country’s trampling of Hamas’s “gated community”. The world was shaken by the adult behavior of catholic priests with children(general of the same sex).
Was Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops shaken? Did they publically say – one way or the other? What could prompt a vocal response from Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops?
Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops could become animated if their institution, open to the public, accepts a speaking engagement by a “likely SAVIOR of the world’s economy”. What riles Notre Dames Catholic Bishops, apparently, is a speaking engagement at their university by the President of the United States of America.
If the Pope is going to make a personal visit to the Zionist state of Israel, that could signal that the Catholics would welcome a speech by a leader from the Zionist country of Israel.
Zionism is specially crafted for Jews. Another leader, Adolf Hitler, wanted to do something similar. The West forbade it. Perhaps Europe was not a favorable location for the gestation of such an idea. But maybe, in the Middle East, the idea might work.
With the burden of the 6,000,000 number weighing on Europe, Jewish terrorists were introduced into Palestine to help with the “evacuation” of the indigenous Palestinians. The United Nations’ actions helped to “persuade” the Palestinians to flee their homeland. The Palestinians discovered that:
YOU CAN’T OWN WHAT YOU CANT PROTECT!!
And as the Zionists continued to play the “6,000,000 card”, Western “gratuities” might eventually enable them to deal with the larger problem – the GENTILES.
Zionism may one day have to contend with the Gentiles of the West.
Armageddon is likely a ways off at this time but 150 to 200 nuclear devices, if they exist, could go a long ways toward kick-starting Armageddon. And maybe that could be why the temperament of the Zionist country matters.
And maybe that is why the Pope is going, personally, to a Zionist state to apologize for one of his bishops counting the 6,000,000 number wrong. It is important to keep that 6,000,000 number at 6,000,000. The world must never forget the Holocaust that focused on Jews. The world is encouraged to forget the recent holocaust that the Zionist state focused on Arabs.
Religious leaders, now, do seem to be “stirring the pot”, perhaps trying to get back to their glory days of the “dark ages”. Even Galileo had problems with the church. And that meant scientific ideas had to give way to “faith” based ideas… and perhaps the rite of the first night.. and perhaps the right to “detect witches”. Witches had a different anatomy from warlocks. Nobody cared much about detecting warlocks.
Now and then, religious leaders attempt to re-show the world how history used to be controlled - why their rule and the Dark Ages went hand and hand and why President Obama and Galileo both raised the ire of religious leaders.
Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops have now come alive; but not about the massacre of Hamas men, women and children by that Zionist country. Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops are seemingly quiet about that. But on the heels of the massacre, comes a visit to the conquering country by the Pope. Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops also seem to be quiet about that.
Sometimes it is difficult to fathom the reasons for religious priorities.
Similar posts: adult couples webcam
Now the Catholic leadership seems to have a strong affinity for the Zionist state of Israel - perhaps President Obama could be replaced with a Zionist speaker?
Zionism and Catholicism – seemingly, unlikely partners in religion, are more together than one might expect.
One of the world’s religions could tolerate holocaust of Arabs while the other world religion was reluctant to talk about using the body of children for adult personal, private enjoyment.
Most likely, that illegal, immoral act against children puts a “monkey” on the backs of young children when they are least able to carry such a burden.
At that time children should be getting help with their school work from concerned adults. Children should be more concerned about how to do fractions than how to do those adult acts. While a normal relationship between adult and child might include teaching the child how to do fractions, Western civilizations forbid the sexual exploitation of children. And yet it happens. And yet it happened.
Were Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops out front during the search for answers to the problem of the exploitation of children for the private pleasure of adults? Some called the development of adults – who would so use children – infantile - suggesting that function of adult behavior never fully developed to adult stage.
The world was shaken by the Zionist country’s trampling of Hamas’s “gated community”. The world was shaken by the adult behavior of catholic priests with children(general of the same sex).
Was Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops shaken? Did they publically say – one way or the other? What could prompt a vocal response from Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops?
Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops could become animated if their institution, open to the public, accepts a speaking engagement by a “likely SAVIOR of the world’s economy”. What riles Notre Dames Catholic Bishops, apparently, is a speaking engagement at their university by the President of the United States of America.
If the Pope is going to make a personal visit to the Zionist state of Israel, that could signal that the Catholics would welcome a speech by a leader from the Zionist country of Israel.
Zionism is specially crafted for Jews. Another leader, Adolf Hitler, wanted to do something similar. The West forbade it. Perhaps Europe was not a favorable location for the gestation of such an idea. But maybe, in the Middle East, the idea might work.
With the burden of the 6,000,000 number weighing on Europe, Jewish terrorists were introduced into Palestine to help with the “evacuation” of the indigenous Palestinians. The United Nations’ actions helped to “persuade” the Palestinians to flee their homeland. The Palestinians discovered that:
YOU CAN’T OWN WHAT YOU CANT PROTECT!!
And as the Zionists continued to play the “6,000,000 card”, Western “gratuities” might eventually enable them to deal with the larger problem – the GENTILES.
Zionism may one day have to contend with the Gentiles of the West.
Armageddon is likely a ways off at this time but 150 to 200 nuclear devices, if they exist, could go a long ways toward kick-starting Armageddon. And maybe that could be why the temperament of the Zionist country matters.
And maybe that is why the Pope is going, personally, to a Zionist state to apologize for one of his bishops counting the 6,000,000 number wrong. It is important to keep that 6,000,000 number at 6,000,000. The world must never forget the Holocaust that focused on Jews. The world is encouraged to forget the recent holocaust that the Zionist state focused on Arabs.
Religious leaders, now, do seem to be “stirring the pot”, perhaps trying to get back to their glory days of the “dark ages”. Even Galileo had problems with the church. And that meant scientific ideas had to give way to “faith” based ideas… and perhaps the rite of the first night.. and perhaps the right to “detect witches”. Witches had a different anatomy from warlocks. Nobody cared much about detecting warlocks.
Now and then, religious leaders attempt to re-show the world how history used to be controlled - why their rule and the Dark Ages went hand and hand and why President Obama and Galileo both raised the ire of religious leaders.
Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops have now come alive; but not about the massacre of Hamas men, women and children by that Zionist country. Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops are seemingly quiet about that. But on the heels of the massacre, comes a visit to the conquering country by the Pope. Notre Dame’s Catholic Bishops also seem to be quiet about that.
Sometimes it is difficult to fathom the reasons for religious priorities.
Similar posts: adult couples webcam
- Mood:bad
- Music:Ricky Marti
If a husband is unfaithful to his wife, be sure that she is going to revenge on him and the revenge will be overwhelming?I was at my friend?s suite. I was completely in a heartbreak situation. I haven?t seen Lisa for about two or three months, though we talked to the phone regularly. But today there was an unpleasant reason to meet. I found out that my dear ?:)exemplary? husband was unfaithful to me. We were married for already 8 years and the passion gradually lessened comparing it with the beginning of our relationships. We both were 37, and at the time we had 2 charming sons. We were at the age it was high time to come down! Well, at least I thought so. But not my husband. Couple of times my friends ?reported? me that they saw my dear walking with some blond girl. And today we ran into each other when they were going out of some expensive café. She was laughing while my husband was holding that peroxide 20 years old blond by the waist. They looked happy like a young couple! I was there just by chance heading to the office where I was working as an economist. That was so unexpected for both of us that I nearly dropped the paper full bag out of my hands and my husband stood still with his mouth wide open. For some moments he was inventing what to say, how to justify himself, and found nothing special but to say that she was his college. I took my husband aside and told him everything I was thinking about his ?sex? partner of his fucking business. My husband had nothing to do but to make excuses to me muttering something under his breath. I didn?t have any secret passions or desires. I was quite satisfied with our 1 time quick sex per 2 weeks. But after that his bold behavior, I had to take revenge! That was why I was seating with my friend crying on her shoulder. It was fresh evening outside. We were seating in the kitchen, drinking vodka and talking.Then she laid one of her hand on my breast and the other lowed down. That was the first real kiss with a woman in my life. Vodka made its affect! Sweet languor ran all over my body. I hugged Lisa in my return. We were giving each other furious deep kisses. ?Am I a lesbian?? ? I thought. Our hands were roaming over our bodies. Lisa was already moaning a bit. I was turned on! In 5 minutes of such unbelievable passion we paused standing face to face and breathing heavily. I went out and headed for home.
The weather was just nice. Fresh wind was cooling the streets after the day heat. I didn?t want to hurry that was why I went through the beautiful park breathing in the scent of flowers, trees. I didn?t want to hear anyone?s talking, I didn?t want to see anyone and I decided to take the aside narrow path along the park. That path was surrounded by some high thick bushes. I heard some light music playing far from me. Suddenly I heard somebody?s voices from the bushes. I hurried to walk away. Who knows what was going on there? But here there was a girl cry: ?HELP!!! NOOO!!!!?Vodka was stirring up my blood and I couldn?t get the situation.I came closer to the bushes and peeped though there. There were 3 young guys about 18 trying to undress the girl of the same age. One of the guys slipped his hand under her skirt; the others were trying to hold up the legs and the hands of the girl. I didn?t doubt they were going to fuck her. The guys were much stronger than their she was. It looked as if they were pretty tipsy too. I didn?t hesitate a second and rush through the bushes.The guys didn?t expect such kicker and let the girl off. She quickly hid behind me. I grabbed the girl to the hand and dragged her to the path. The girl kept sobbing. She told me that she and two more girls got acquainted with those guys. They offered to drink some beer. The girls agreed. The guys had the real hut here that couldn?t be seen from the path. There they were sitting, laughing and drinking all together. Then one of the guys offered to play cards and again all the girls agreed. They decided to play to the striptease. And she lost the cards so did the other girls. Two her friends appeared to be more agile and slipped away. She was left along with 3 young guys. And here the guys ?offered? her to pay for her friends by her own body. I was listening to the girl carefully.I hugged her by her shoulders and we headed to the bus stop where I got her on the bus. She was really frightened.I was standing on the bus stop and thinking about that situation. The guys were wrong, no doubts. They probably cheated the girls just to undress them on purpose. But they?re at the age the hormones are fontaining. I understood I was doing something wrong but I turned back to that place. There was nobody. I went on and saw their original structure made from bushes and branches. That was there headquarters. The4 guys were seating at the wooden table and drinking beer. Guys turned their heads to me. My heart was ready to jump out of my breast. I made up my mind!I uplifted the light dress from behind, slipped my fingers under the panties, bent and pulled down the panties to the knees. Then I slowly drew myself up and stepped out of the panties looking at the shocked guys.The tall one immediately pulled me close to him and slipped his hands under my dress being afraid that I could change my mind. I felt his hot hand trembling with excitement over my thighs. I wanted everyone could see what his hand was doing under the dress and pulled it up to the waist showing them my a bit hairy pubis. The hands of the tall guy were feeling up my butt and thighs covetously. Then he found my sweet hole and I moaned with excitement. The others also showed me their condoms.
The tall guy stood up and pulled me by the hand into some other ?room?. Here I saw there ?bedroom? of their property. There was an old bed covered with an old dirty mattress. Here I got what was the main purpose for the shelter. I set on the bed that squeaked terribly under me. The tall guy was standing still and holding the condoms. I slowly unbuttoned the dress looking right in his eyes, and took it off. There was nothing but the bra on me. The other guys were standing on the threshold rubbing their dicks in the jeans. I unhooked the bra and my breasts jumped out of it with the nipples hardened in excitement. The tall hastily took the jeans and sneakers off and jumped on me kissing my body. I moved him aside, put the condom on his big member and lied on the mattress moving my legs widely apart. The tall was standing and staring at the ripe body of the mature woman to satisfy his lust there. In a second he was already laying on me sticking his dick into my thighs unskillfully trying to find my sweet hole. I took his penis into my right hand and directed it right into my wet excited vagina. His dick entered me as deep as it could. I felt it? ohhh!!!… it was so hard and hot? yeah?!!!
The guy set fucking my cave furiously. I was trying to calm him down to prolong sex but in about 30 second of that fucking he came stormily. I didn?t cum but I was near to it. The next one was the red. He moved his friend away from me and set between my legs. It seemed he already had some sex experience. He thrust his member inside me and set drilling my pussy rhythmically. The bed was squeaking incredibly. There were already squelching sounds from my wet hole combined with the red?s testicles slaps. He rose on his arms to see my breasts jumping to the rhythm of his pushes. I felt the upcoming orgasm? I arched my back? moaned? the red one kept ramming my pussy restlessly. I cried out trembling in orgasm; put my legs round his waist to make him enter me deeper and deeper. This guy came only in 2 minutes. He fell on me breathing heavily and kissing my nipples. The third one overexcited and came right on my face when I was trying to put the condom on his dick. Without any hesitation I took his hot dick into my mouth and set sucking it. That immediately turned his young member on and I plunged the dick in to my mount for the third time per evening. The tall one was standing next to us preparing his dick for the second round. Then there was a complete fuck marathon non-stop. Their unquenchable passion didn?t give their dicks a single chance to pause. I was yelling under them. The bed was squeaking non-stop either. The amount of the worked out condoms was increasing sped up. In about hour and a half my ?rapists? got a bit tiered and allowed me to stand up. My legs didn?t obey me. My vagina was aching after that marathon. I put my clothes on and set to drink some beer with them. We didn?t say a word to each other. I noticed only satisfied grateful looks. It was dead of night already. I said goodbye to the guy and headed for home. I didn?t plan to keep in touch with them; I just wanted to take revenge on my husband. I felt the sperm of the guys was pouring out of my hole and running down my thighs. In fact they had only 8 contraceptives for all of them and each of them entered me at least 5 times. I came home. My husband was waiting for me.? he was apologizing saying that he would never do it again. I took his hand and put it on panties soaked with cum. The husband pulled the hand back.I noticed my husband?s dick hardened. He took me to the sofa, took my panties off and moved my legs apart. There was a fucked vagina, aching with sex? he set between my legs and started licking clean my pussy full of the guys sperm. It turned me on again and I pressed his head to my vagina until he licked away all the sperm. Then I tenderly kissed his lips covered with the semen of the guys.While I was telling him my story, my husband was seating between my legs jerking off his dick and licking my hole. I came one more time. We agreed to go to the guys together. My darling promised to take the camcorder there.
Similar posts: adult couples webcam
The weather was just nice. Fresh wind was cooling the streets after the day heat. I didn?t want to hurry that was why I went through the beautiful park breathing in the scent of flowers, trees. I didn?t want to hear anyone?s talking, I didn?t want to see anyone and I decided to take the aside narrow path along the park. That path was surrounded by some high thick bushes. I heard some light music playing far from me. Suddenly I heard somebody?s voices from the bushes. I hurried to walk away. Who knows what was going on there? But here there was a girl cry: ?HELP!!! NOOO!!!!?Vodka was stirring up my blood and I couldn?t get the situation.I came closer to the bushes and peeped though there. There were 3 young guys about 18 trying to undress the girl of the same age. One of the guys slipped his hand under her skirt; the others were trying to hold up the legs and the hands of the girl. I didn?t doubt they were going to fuck her. The guys were much stronger than their she was. It looked as if they were pretty tipsy too. I didn?t hesitate a second and rush through the bushes.The guys didn?t expect such kicker and let the girl off. She quickly hid behind me. I grabbed the girl to the hand and dragged her to the path. The girl kept sobbing. She told me that she and two more girls got acquainted with those guys. They offered to drink some beer. The girls agreed. The guys had the real hut here that couldn?t be seen from the path. There they were sitting, laughing and drinking all together. Then one of the guys offered to play cards and again all the girls agreed. They decided to play to the striptease. And she lost the cards so did the other girls. Two her friends appeared to be more agile and slipped away. She was left along with 3 young guys. And here the guys ?offered? her to pay for her friends by her own body. I was listening to the girl carefully.I hugged her by her shoulders and we headed to the bus stop where I got her on the bus. She was really frightened.I was standing on the bus stop and thinking about that situation. The guys were wrong, no doubts. They probably cheated the girls just to undress them on purpose. But they?re at the age the hormones are fontaining. I understood I was doing something wrong but I turned back to that place. There was nobody. I went on and saw their original structure made from bushes and branches. That was there headquarters. The4 guys were seating at the wooden table and drinking beer. Guys turned their heads to me. My heart was ready to jump out of my breast. I made up my mind!I uplifted the light dress from behind, slipped my fingers under the panties, bent and pulled down the panties to the knees. Then I slowly drew myself up and stepped out of the panties looking at the shocked guys.The tall one immediately pulled me close to him and slipped his hands under my dress being afraid that I could change my mind. I felt his hot hand trembling with excitement over my thighs. I wanted everyone could see what his hand was doing under the dress and pulled it up to the waist showing them my a bit hairy pubis. The hands of the tall guy were feeling up my butt and thighs covetously. Then he found my sweet hole and I moaned with excitement. The others also showed me their condoms.
The tall guy stood up and pulled me by the hand into some other ?room?. Here I saw there ?bedroom? of their property. There was an old bed covered with an old dirty mattress. Here I got what was the main purpose for the shelter. I set on the bed that squeaked terribly under me. The tall guy was standing still and holding the condoms. I slowly unbuttoned the dress looking right in his eyes, and took it off. There was nothing but the bra on me. The other guys were standing on the threshold rubbing their dicks in the jeans. I unhooked the bra and my breasts jumped out of it with the nipples hardened in excitement. The tall hastily took the jeans and sneakers off and jumped on me kissing my body. I moved him aside, put the condom on his big member and lied on the mattress moving my legs widely apart. The tall was standing and staring at the ripe body of the mature woman to satisfy his lust there. In a second he was already laying on me sticking his dick into my thighs unskillfully trying to find my sweet hole. I took his penis into my right hand and directed it right into my wet excited vagina. His dick entered me as deep as it could. I felt it? ohhh!!!… it was so hard and hot? yeah?!!!
The guy set fucking my cave furiously. I was trying to calm him down to prolong sex but in about 30 second of that fucking he came stormily. I didn?t cum but I was near to it. The next one was the red. He moved his friend away from me and set between my legs. It seemed he already had some sex experience. He thrust his member inside me and set drilling my pussy rhythmically. The bed was squeaking incredibly. There were already squelching sounds from my wet hole combined with the red?s testicles slaps. He rose on his arms to see my breasts jumping to the rhythm of his pushes. I felt the upcoming orgasm? I arched my back? moaned? the red one kept ramming my pussy restlessly. I cried out trembling in orgasm; put my legs round his waist to make him enter me deeper and deeper. This guy came only in 2 minutes. He fell on me breathing heavily and kissing my nipples. The third one overexcited and came right on my face when I was trying to put the condom on his dick. Without any hesitation I took his hot dick into my mouth and set sucking it. That immediately turned his young member on and I plunged the dick in to my mount for the third time per evening. The tall one was standing next to us preparing his dick for the second round. Then there was a complete fuck marathon non-stop. Their unquenchable passion didn?t give their dicks a single chance to pause. I was yelling under them. The bed was squeaking non-stop either. The amount of the worked out condoms was increasing sped up. In about hour and a half my ?rapists? got a bit tiered and allowed me to stand up. My legs didn?t obey me. My vagina was aching after that marathon. I put my clothes on and set to drink some beer with them. We didn?t say a word to each other. I noticed only satisfied grateful looks. It was dead of night already. I said goodbye to the guy and headed for home. I didn?t plan to keep in touch with them; I just wanted to take revenge on my husband. I felt the sperm of the guys was pouring out of my hole and running down my thighs. In fact they had only 8 contraceptives for all of them and each of them entered me at least 5 times. I came home. My husband was waiting for me.? he was apologizing saying that he would never do it again. I took his hand and put it on panties soaked with cum. The husband pulled the hand back.I noticed my husband?s dick hardened. He took me to the sofa, took my panties off and moved my legs apart. There was a fucked vagina, aching with sex? he set between my legs and started licking clean my pussy full of the guys sperm. It turned me on again and I pressed his head to my vagina until he licked away all the sperm. Then I tenderly kissed his lips covered with the semen of the guys.While I was telling him my story, my husband was seating between my legs jerking off his dick and licking my hole. I came one more time. We agreed to go to the guys together. My darling promised to take the camcorder there.
Similar posts: adult couples webcam
- Mood:cry
- Music:Backstreet Boys
About the late Wilton Sankawolo and I been privileged to be in Liberia as my friend and colleague passed away, I would have asked permission to read beside his bier a short biography of his father that he authored and which appeared in a 1974 publication (“Anthology of Liberian Literature”). It remains my wish that the biography incorporated in this tribute be read at one of the funeral occasions and hopefully printed in the local newspapers. The late Wilton Sankawolo I first met Wilton Sankawulo at Cuttington College and Divinity School (now Cuttington University) in Suacoco in 1963. He was a class ahead of me. More than a decade later we found ourselves in the service of the Liberian government, he at the Information Ministry and I at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. The latter part of the 1970s found us together at the Ministry of State for Presidential Affairs. When the 1980 coup d’etat struck we were both in trouble. We survived by the grace of God, he remaining at the Executive Mansion and I moving on to university work. Wilton remained in the thicket of Liberian politics in the 1980s, and was even drawn into the politics of interim governance in the turbulent years of the 1990s. Renewal of war in 2003 led him to eventually join some of us already leading our lives in exile. We renewed contact, often exchanging e-mail messages and spending a lot of time on the phone, talking about our respective writing interests. Our last encounter was in Monrovia in early December 2008. As I extend the condolences of my family to his widow, children and other relatives, I do so not only as a friend and colleague, but also in homage to a major Liberian literary figure. Sankawulo follows a long tradition of writers of Liberian literature beginning perhaps with Joseph Jeffrey Walters, a Vai-Liberian novelist who wrote more than 100 years ago what belated was hailed as the “first book of long fiction by an African to be published in English.” (Guanya Pau published 1891). Walters would be followed by scores of others who deserve to be more widely known and read especially in Liberia. Let this generation of Liberians acknowledge its writer sons and daughters for they are the real articulators of the Liberian identity, an identity so little understood and thus so often manipulated to the detriment of Liberia. In his LIFE IS ETERNAL: ESSAY IN MEMORY OF MY FATHER, Wilton Sankawulo writes passionately about his Kpelle and Gola background though he situates the experiences lived squarely in the context of Liberia. WILTON SANKAWULO LIFE IS ETERNAL Essay in Memory of My Father But I shall sleep, for where is any death While in these blue hills slumberous overhead I’m rooted like a tree? Though I be dead This soil that holds me fast will find me breath. He was a Kpelle man, as far as I can gather, though he spoke Gola fluently. By the same token I consider myself both Kpelle and Gola even though my knowledge of Gola is exceedingly scarce. My father spent his early childhood in Golaland, and he often spoke of those early days with extreme sentiments. His sentimental reminiscences of Golaland were brief, sporadic, and amusing anecdotes. They were never connected with a sustained plot to be designated as a story. Consequently they never made anything more than a passive impression on me. I do not know how he came to settle in Haindi; I think something of the cosmopolitan semblance of the town had to do with it. Though Haindi was a secluded village in the old times, it was the confluence of Liberian cultures. Vai, Mande, and Mandingo people lived there, carrying on some meagre amount of trading. They brought the Koran. Three features of the Islamic faith I admired were (1) the group prayers. While praying in a group the Moslems would dress in long, white gowns and speak Arabic. (2) At the end of Ramadan, they would conduct festive celebrations. At this time they would be extremely generous, mirthful, and they would dance about the town in frolic. (3) A last impression 1 remember was the boys reciting wala, brief quotations from the Koran written on slates. They would sit patiently by their houses each morning and read by rote until they were tired out. These practices were observed with rigid regularity. As Haindi was on the border with Golaland, Gola and Kpelle traditions mingled. Sometimes the Kpelle people and the Gola people made farms together and. joined the same Poro and Sande societies. I noticed that those who were considered the best singers sang in Gola. I do not think it was because Gola was more melodic than Kpelle. A lot could be said rapidly in Gola without making the song sound awkward. Haindi was also a stopping point for travelers (Mande, Kissi, Gbande, Loma) on their way to and from the northern part of Liberia, fondly called Upriver. I remember many of these travelers personally. Their arrival and departure from Haindi were always a curiosity. They carried their acquisitions in kenjas hooked to their backs. I remember Fayah, a Kissi traveler who died in Haindi. His death created considerable sensation among his fellow travelers who considered it as a calculated injustice. I remember Landa, a Gbande dancing devil, who accompanied some Gbande travelers to Haindi. He was probably Liberia’s best entertainer: he sang well — he sang in a beautiful, soft, and resonant voice. His beauty was mesmeric. He dressed in a beautiful raffia skirt. He had long, bearded jaws that radiated a paternal effect. His red mouth was dotted with red, conical teeth. He repeatedly opened his mouth and closed it with a clap sound on the last note of a song. Landa curiously wore a deck of feathers at the back of his head, and he actually mimicked the songs of the birds whose feathers he wore. Landa always carried an atmosphere of romance. All I found repulsive about him was his excessive speed. Like a flash of lightning, he would run from one place to another, regardless of the distance. His admirers usually watched him with apprehension for nobody knew the direction his amazing speed would take, and it was ominous for a living person to clash with a devil. But Landa never ran into anyone. My father was a strong man though such an admission may not be anything more than trite. Every son believes his father is the most powerful creature on earth. The ancient Romans admonished us to speak only good of the dead. But my father was not given to flattery. I have no intention of making him appear more worthy in death than he was in life: he was often petty, querulous, subject to outrageous intransigence where his own interest was at stake. He wanted the world to adjust itself to him rather than his adjusting to the world. We blame the Church for teaching us that the earth is the center of the universe and everything created in the universe was designed for man’s convenience, for we realize that life is always in contest with the natural forces of the universe. Earthquake, flood, lightning storms, worms, mosquitoes, germs, and other innumerable disasters are no respecters of life. We say this is ascribable to sinful human nature, but those who overcome sin and become good are the first to die. The better man you try to be the more vulnerable you become. The fact is that nature is a mystery, it creates and destroys at the same time. Death and life are always walking side by side. Death begins at birth and life begins at death. The vision between life and death, however, is profound and extraordinary — man is required to use it to understand his situation rather than take to superstition. While the Church is trying to place the earth in the center of the universe with difficulty, there are individuals I have known (my father included) who believe they’re the ones to occupy that place. The odds against such a possibility are so numerous and overwhelming that we need not speculate upon them. When I say that my father was a strong man I am aware of the fact that I was born in his old age — the unsettling effect of his tarnishing years was reasonably responsible for his quarrels with the world. He loved people, and I believe it was even more so in his youth because he told me stories of his engagement in tribal wars as well as perilous elephant hunts. Only a sociable man would pursue such projects. He worked without respite to eke out existence for us in the jungles. He held tenaciously to the cutlass to the very end. He wanted me to be a hard worker, or more correctly, a farmer, but contrary to his expectations I was given to revere. I preferred being alone most often, reading tales or inventing characters and plots in my mind. When he noticed my interest in tales, he told me a few of them, full of wild adventures and intrigue, such as “The Marriage of Beauty”, “Animals Run For Their Horns”, and “A Breach of Promise”. A most fascinating epic tale he told me, which could even provide materials for a whole book, was about the annual trips the Kpelle people of Fuama Chiefdom made to White Plains to barter rice, coffee, palm kernels, and other produce in stores operated by some Germans. The physical endurance required of them, the harassment of the Gola people they encountered on these long journeys to the coast, engendered romantic heroes and adventures. I loved his cherished fantasies and his concept of true manhood: endurance, courage, self-reliance, love for work, friendship. I want to adopt these virtues so when I see him again I will say, “I tried to be a man.” On August 19, 1959, my father died. Four weeks before his death I sat by him on a bamboo bed, a blaze of fire dancing timorously among pieces of twig in the fireplace. He was wrapped up in a yellowish sheet of country cloth from his feet up to his armpits, lying on his left side, facing the dark mud wall. I had been on an evangelistic mission for the Lutheran Church in Wenita, near Totota. I tried to convert the people of Wenita, but they peculiarly evaded conversion. They wanted conversion but, first of all they wanted to live. In the daytime they worked with utmost perseverance on their farms, and in the evening they went to bed soon. I had little to no chance to preach to them. My evangelistic mission was proving abortive; yet I had to show evidence of their conversion if I would be successful. While I was worrying about this a villager brought me a letter from home which said that my father was dying. He wanted to tell me some last things; so I should hurry home. Impulsively I ran into the house in which I was lodging, packed my clothes and books in a wooden box, shouldered it, and went to Totota where I boarded a pickup truck for Haindi. It was raining heavily when I arrived home, a violent onslaught of water washed the hard, laterite soil of the town. When I stepped down from the pickup one of my nieces spied me and ran to me excitedly, declaring my arrival. My mother and sister, most depressed, who sat on the porch saw me and began crying, beating their breasts, wriggling on the dusty, earth floor as if by so doing they could make Father get well. I decided not to cry because Father never welcomed tears on my face. “If you cry what will the women do?” he often told me. I went to the porch; Sister suddenly turned sober and directed me to the room where Father lay. My brother-in-law came in — all of us sat down, speechless for a moment, staring about in dismay. Now and then Sister would poke at the fire with a piece of sapling, blow on it so it would stop smouldering and sending painful smoke into our eyes and nostrils. In spite of her effort smoke clouded the room, our eyes watered, the humid air was suffocating. Our concern made all this bearable. Some casual friends were called when Father began giving the farewell message. “I’m leaving the family with you,” he began. “You’re a true son of the land.” I thought incidentally of the kola tree which stood on the outskirts of the town over my navel cord as a testimony of the fact. (When the navel cord — or umbilical cord — of a baby drops off, the Kpelle people usually bury it with a kola nut which grows up as a tree to tie him to the land and also show that he is a true citizen of the land.) Of course he did not only want me to remember constantly that I was a Liberian. His tenacious claim to the land was also due to the fact that he wanted to leave me some inheritance, a solemn tradition not to be forgotten. If he had no property to leave, at least he brought me into a special geography; that should be inheritance enough. I confirmed this by telling him I was proud of being a Liberian, and I entertained the fact with utmost gratitude and delight that he was leaving Liberia with me or leaving me with Liberia. I would certainly try to make my contributions whenever I got the opportunity and work hard to be successful. “Well,” he coughed and took a long breath, “I wish all your relatives were here. They won’t have any property to inherit. Maybe that’s why many of them are not here. All the same, I’m leaving them with you. Take good care of them.” Father never reconciled himself with our poverty. Under the circumstances he did the most humanly thing possible: he defended his land, he supported his children until they were old enough to fend for themselves, he was lucky to grow old to become an elder of the land, a peacemaker — this was a saga of bravery and achievement which if any of us inherited would lead perhaps to success. However, he believed greatly in material success. And as the educated man in the modern world stood the best chance of making money, I would be the next hope for the family because I had joined forces with the world of education. Whether I would be able to survive in this world or not was not important. I left him dying and went back to school because he wanted it that way. I should know book to be able to write it with my right hand and my left hand, know book so whenever anyone woke me in the middle of the night and said something in English I would know what he meant. Book meant everything. I never put it this way, though I valued education. I returned to school to begin the last semester of my high school career, regretting the fact that he might possibly not live to see me finish high school. After a couple of weeks of schooling, the principal called me to his office one day. A student would normally grow apprehensive when summoned to “The Office”, because it was usually only in case of misbehavior one would be asked to see the principal. Reviewing in my mind the events of the last two weeks, I remembered doing nothing wrong, so I could only imagine that he wanted to announce the death of my father to me. This occurred to me despite his effort to sound as informal as possible so that I wouldn’t detect it. When I later saw him it was not surprising to learn that Father was dead. I had thought of it as a strong possibility, because sickness at his age was extremely dangerous. I could not feel sad, though I felt a part of me dead. Like Macbeth, you are bound to find yourself beyond feelings if you live with misfortunes for a long time. We were menaced by poverty and disease at home, and we were harassed by harsh reproaches, punishment, and moral condemnation in the mission school. Therefore, my father’s death was just another assault of my daily misfortunes. I went home and met my mother and sisters with tousled hair, their bodies covered with dust and ashes, weeping. I had never been aware of this aspect of our culture. Farewell gun salutes echoed down the St. Paul River near which Father was buried. People from many villages came to pay him their last respects. Some brought us white chickens, white clothes, white kola nuts, and white coins as consolations. The funeral was, of course, over. Communication difficulty delayed my awareness of Father’s death for almost a week. And it was contrary to Kpelle custom to keep the corpse of a man unburied for more than four days. In fact, the harsh climate of the tropics does not permit it. My brother, brother-in-law, nephew and some friendly townsmen assembled around me, telling me to be a man. They escorted me to his grave. It began to drizzle. We ran quickly to the grave, gave four gun salutes and returned to the town. As we returned I wished I had some privacy at the grave. Not that I had anything much to say to my father — he never taught me any of the enchanting, esoteric words uttered in salutation to the dead because as a so-called civilized man I had to refrain from such things. I simply wanted to thank him for the grim struggles he put forth for our survival, ask him to take my greetings to the ancestral spirits, and tell him that life is eternal and death will never make it perishable. May the soul of Wilton Sankawulo and the souls of all the faithful departed rest in peace.
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*Check out this story with all the accompanying photos 13 of em! at VegasDeLuxe.com.*
Congratulations to our newest resident headliner Carlos Santana on his Lifetime Achievement Award presented to him last night at the 20th Anniversary Billboard Latin Music Awards in Miami. The awards show was broadcast on Telemundo.
Music icon Carlos is set to play 36 shows per year in a two-year residency at the new Joint in the Hard Rock Hotel beginning May 27, and it’s exclusive to the contract that he will not play any other venue west of the Mississippi for the two-year run.
*Despite my YouTube pitch on behalf of Las Vegas, we lost out on winning the world premiere of Wolverine: X-Men Origins starring Hugh Jackman. We tried, but we did land a couple of surprises in advance of next Thursday’s 11:59 p.m. first public showing at Brendan Theatres in the Palms.
First on Wednesday, a Wolverine wax figure will be unveiled at our Madame Tussauds in The Venetian complete with the actual movie’s motorcycle for photo poses. Then Wolverine creators John Romita and Herbe Trimpe from Marvel Comics and Wolverine artists John Romita Jr. and Josef Rubinstein will make appearances at the Palms, and Comic Oasis will present a free comic book day for Wolverine fans.
*The first-ever World Series of Slots tournament at the Golden Nugget downtown had 280 competitors battling head to head through eight rounds of play. Prize money totaled $262,000, with San Diego resident Michele Leone winning the $100,000 grand prize and championship bracelet.
*Tickets go on sale tomorrow for the powerhouse rock lineup of Aerosmith and ZZ Top when their Guitar Hero Tour makes a stop at MGM Grand on July 25. This is the new Aerosmith tour following the 2007 blockbuster worldwide swing of 35 dates in 20 countries that included Russia. Aerosmith has been rocking for more 30 years, and ZZ Top is celebrating its 40th anniversary. … Tickets also go on sale Saturday for Wilco’s 2009 tour stop at The Joint on June 19.
*It’s nice to be able to plug the new Las Vegas Farmers Market that opens today downtown at the Fremont East Entertainment District and is sponsored by the El Cortez. Yes, we do have farmers here in the desert, and the new weekly market starts off with more than 20 vendors. They promise regionally grown fruits and vegetables, plus homemade breads, pastries, pastas and salad mixes. Please support these courageous souls who toil our scrubland and, despite 120-degree temperatures, turn it into a productive oasis!
Star surveillance
To celebrate the wrap of another successful CSI season, cast and crew including Marg Helgenberger and Laurence Fishburne partied at The Beatles Revolution lounge in The Mirage. Laurence chilled in the banquette, while Marg spent most of the night dancing. …. Marg also was seen with friends at Society Cafe in the Encore, where she nibbled on a wedge salad, truffle mac ’n’ cheese bites and other specialties. … Peepshow’s near-naked beauty Kelly Monaco dined at Kerry Simon’s restaurant Simon at Palms Place on raw salad and veggie rolls wrapped in soy paper. … Poker pro Jamie Gold enjoyed the fun at LAX in the Luxor. … UFC champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and a lady friend danced on the outdoor deck at Ghostbar in the Palms, while actor Paul Adelstein played blackjack at The Playboy Club in the Fantasy Tower at the Palms. … MTV star Domenico Nesci of That’s Amore, and a potential suitor of Tila Tequila on A Shot at Love, celebrated his birthday at McFadden’s in The Rio last night as cameras rolled for his MTV show Hey How Are Ya. New York Giants star Greg Ruegamer, who attended Bishop Gorman High School here, welcomed sports stars from his team, the Packers, the Cowboys, the Raiders and the Patriots to a Rok Vegas party in New York-New York last night for his charity Ruegy’s Readers.
*It was a shocker when Adam Goldstein, aka DJ AM, uprooted from his long-term contract with Pure at Caesars Palace and LAX and jumped over to the Palms. Tonight, he starts his residency at Rain, and it’s set to restart the nightlife wars.
While DJ AM twists the turntables, there’s a whole series of other attractions in town set to spin, too. We’ve cut the deck and set it in a jewel box we affectionately refer to around here as the ROYAL ROBIN RUNDOWN:
Friday, April 24
*It’s another blockbuster two days for The Joint with rockers Bon Jovi headlining the start of the second giant weekend.
*Country music legend Kenny Rogers has sold more than 100 million records with his 65 albums “Through the Years,” and he’s still going strong as the eighth best-selling male artist of all time. He’s at The Orleans for three nights, and those classic hits “Lady” and, appropriately, “The Gambler,” are certain to be on the set list.
*He’s struck out on his own as a country star now, but Darius Rucker still has a soft spot for our Silverton Casino Lodge, where his former band Hootie and the Blowfish had a long-running gig and their own bar lounge! Darius returns there tonight for his solo country show.
*The future stars of MMA slug it out with the Tuff -N-Uff amateur fighting championships at The Orleans. If you haven’t witnessed this all-action showdown close up at ringside, I heartily recommend it.
*The Sin City Bad Girls debut their new topless cabaret revue at the Hilton’s Shimmer showroom, and they’ll shake their assets nightly except Sundays.
*Time to travel back to “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” and the music of yesteryear with the sweet sounds of The Tokens at the Suncoast for three nights. Did you know they hold the Guinness Book of World Records mark as the first pop group to sing the national anthem in all 30 MLB parks in a single season?
*Comedian John Heffron, Season 2 winner of NBC’s Last Comic Standing, makes the laughs at the South Point through Sunday night. He hosted the VH1 series I Love the ’80s and has just completed his second Comedy Central special.
Party patrol
Jorge Garcia of ABC’s Lost found his way to the nightclub scene and his first hosting gig at Tao in The Venetian. … Platinum producer and hip-hop star Jermaine Dupri plays guest DJ to spin the wheels of steel at Prive in Planet Hollywood. … Sports Illustrated 2008 swimsuit model and Victoria’s Secret angel Marisa Miller spends the day at tops-optional Bare Pool in The Mirage and then holds an autograph and photo session at the new Rhumbar, followed by the nighttime party at Jet to kick off the resort’s upcoming 20th anniversary.
Saturday, April 25
*With musicians wearing clown noses, pop princess Britney Spears brings her Virgin Mobile Circus Tour of multiple costume changes to the big top known as the MGM Grand, and those sexy, sassy felines The Pussycat Dolls open with added nip!
*Country king Kenny Chesney goes “Down the Road” and into The Joint with his Sun City Carnival Tour joined by Miranda Lambert and Lady Antebellum. Last year, his Poets Pirates Tour was tops among all genres, and Kenny looks set to repeat. There’s a tailgate party at Stoney’s before the concert, and he’ll also put his new Playboy gold key to good use at the Palms!
*Superstar singer Cher turns back time to resume her run of shows at Caesars Palace through May 24. She’s completed 60 shows to date for her 200-show contract over three years. She’ll perform 33 shows in the final 2009 performances starting Sept. 19 and running through Dec. 20, and then return in 2010 for the balance. Yes, for once and for all, she will be with us next year, and the remaining shows this year aren’t the last ones just the final set for 2009! Let’s hope that now clears up all the confusion from the box office release announcing ticket sales for the fall shows!
*More time travel to yesteryear with the sweet soul sounds of The O’Jays at the Club in the Cannery.
*Rockers Queensryche bring their American Soldier Tour to the House of Blues at Mandalay Bay, which features three other bands to warm up things.
*Academy of Country Music winners The Zac Brown Band makes merry at the Boulder Station.
*In a sense, it’s a homecoming for former Las Vegas headliner Rick Springfield, as he appears with Eddie Money, Lou Gramm and John Waite at Thomas Mack Center.
Party patrol
The five sexy ladies who make up The Pussycat Dolls will purr and dominate at their after-party in Pure following their opening for Britney Spears and her Circus Tour stop at MGM Grand. … Britney will be elsewhere, but the cast and crew after-party is at Prive. … Incredible moves and unbelievable krumping will be the high-intensity watchwords from Quest Crew, Season 3 winners of MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew, when they electrify at LAX. … Actress and model Jaime King celebrates her birthday with a vixen’s blowout bash at Tao in The Venetian.
Sunday, April 26
*Sex kitten Carmen Electra celebrates her birthday and opens the new “Daylife Sundays” parties at MGM’s Wet Republic.
*Actress and mode Jamie King keeps her birthday sparks flying with an afternoon party at Tao Beach.
*Competitors from as far away as South Africa and coast-to-coast here take part in the semi-annual Pole-a-Palooza contest at the Bank in the Bellagio.
*Pray and say hallelujah for the Reverend Horton Heat, who is with Old Man Markley and Manic Hispanic at House of Blues.
Monday’s teases
On Sunday, we’ll post photos of the Britney Spears concert and will have the full report Monday, along with Kenny Chesney’s concert at The Joint and Carmen Electra’s birthday at Wet Republic. On Tuesday, we’ve got a full photo shoot with the saucy, sassy and spicy cast of Peepshow onstage at Planet Hollywood!
Robin Leach has been a journalist for more than 50 years and has spent the past decade giving readers the inside scoop on Las Vegas, the world’s premier platinum playground. Read more of Robins stories at VegasDeLuxe.com.
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My life has never been a soap opera. It's been relatively uneventful. Before I went to college, the worst thing that ever happened to me is I didn't get my learner's permit on my first try. For a girl who lives outside of southern california and newEngland, I'm pretty spoiled. My family is an upper-middle class family in the heart of central Virginia. It's not exactly the most exciting place to live. In fact, it's downright dull. I wanted to make up a more interesting life for myself to people who would like me for it. I don't lie to people. Honesty is the most important thing to me. Trust is earned and valued. I had a good life with good friends but Iwanted some controversy in my life. I wanted my life to be more interesting. I know it's cliche, but be careful what you wish for. I don't regret the past three and a half years. I would do it all over again. They were the best of my life.
It all started in 2002 when I still had AOLand was allowed only 1 hour of internet a day. I would use it to go into the music chatroom on AOL and pretend to be someone else. Someone I totally made up, but whose life was far more interesting than mine. I didn't get too attached to it and found other things to do by the time I was a senior and we got rid of AOL and got comcast later that year. Ihad unlimited access to the internet but Iplayed neopets every chance II forgot about chatrooms and instant messenger until I went off to college in fall 2003. Freshmen couldn't have cars and I was a social recluse so there wasn't much for me to do but stay in my room. The internet was down for nearly a month because of a virus a freshman brought in with their new computer that ate its way through the routers. Once internet access was restored, however, I downloaded AIM and created a new persona for new people to love.
I called myself Blake, born on March 10, 1986, an 17 year old only child from Maryland who moved to Sacramento California just a couple years ago and loved Good Charlotte and Blink 182. I claimed I was so smart that Iskipped 9th grade. I made up some pretty outrageous things during the first few days to make myself appear worth knowing, because who would ever want to know Robin, an 18 year old college Freshman from Richmond, Virginia who never even left the country, let alone the East Coast. I was a boring person. Boring and ordinary. The first few days I used AIM and its chatrooms, Icouldn't tell the difference between music0 and music1, until a guy named Joe from Michigan told me to come into music0. I was already making friends. People liked me. I liked that. I should've stopped after a few days, but I got so attached that I would stay up all night and miss class so I could make up the sleep that I missed talking to Carrie, Michelle, and Joe the night before.
At first I was worried that Iwould be found out. That someone would track my IP or ask for pictures that I didn't have, or want to talk to me on the phone. It would've been easier that way; I could've just stopped getting online. I could've made a new screen name and I could've been honest. The drama that unfolded over the next few months certainly wouldn't have happened if Iweren't such an attention whore.
I developed a particularly close bond with a girl named Carrie, from New Jersey and one day she confessed to liking me a lot. So much so that it strained our friendship and caused her to lie to me that she was over it. It made talking a little easier but I tried to blow it out of proportion and milk the drama for all it was worth. I complained to as many people as I could about how appalled and hurt I was that she didn't think I deserved to know the truth, and that she couldn't be straight with her feelings about me. It made me sound a lot more trustworthy if I got that upset over someone else's lies.Iadded a twist to the whole situation by claiming to be in love with a girl named Jen, whom I called Smithifer. It was our own little e-triangle. It was some drama, but it wasn't enough. I told a select few people that I was experiencing kidney failure as a direct result of my diabletes I've had all my life.If I didn't get a kidney transplant, I had only 6 months to live. I figured I'd be over the chatroom and my new friends by then.
In my real life, I was experiencing college and living away from home for the first time. I have a desperate desire to please people and I have the hardest time saying no, so I joined a couple BIble groups that were just a waste of time to me. Ifinally couldn't take it anymore and resign myself to complete and total honesty, except on the intet because it's only the internet. It turned out to be my whole life for way too long.
Concerning my situation with Carrie and her unresolved feelings for me, Ibegan to confide in another Jen whom Icalled Jennifer for clarification. Joe began to confide in me about a girl named Ashley who was playing mind games with him and another guy named Shane. She ultimately chose Shane and Joe was crushed but she didn't stop there. She tried to steal Chris away from Lainey while she was still with Shane. And eventually, stole the first and so far only guy I've ever loved. I've never loved anyone more.
His name is Eric and we did not get along at all at first. We clashed over Ashley from the beginning.Even before he cheated with her on me. Carrie and I said what a horrible, heartless, selfish person she is, but he wouldn't listen. Ashley and my relationship was never officially defined as anything. We were nice to each other most of the time, in passing. But we never talked intimately after she thought I betrayed her by talking smack about her behind her back. Maybe that's why she stole my Eric away. But it wasn't until April 2004, only a few weeks after Eric and I decided to date because Ihad recently come out as being gay. Another twist in my internet fantasy life that would haunt me to this day.
Eric thought I was stupid and hyper and a clown. He didn't respect me because he didn't think I respected Ashley, who was still with Shane while she and Eric were gradually getting closer. But one day I said something intelligent and his whole perception of me changed. Since then we were inseparable. We did everything together in the chatroom. We had the same fonts and said the same things and liked the same music and had the same sense of humor. We even liked to annoy the same people. He defended me countless times to numerous people and lost a lot of friends because of it. But he was a pothead and that really bothered me. I tried to get him to stop by claiming that i would cut myself if he smoked weed. I also said that I had a history of mental illness and hospital stays. Apparently the drama with Carrie and Smithifer wasn't enough. I wanted more, and I got it.
Our relationship suffered the biggest blow yet when Lainey told me that Eric was cheating on me withAshley. I couldn't believe it. I was in total shock. I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't leave my bed for days. Eric had to have known what he was doing. He had to have known he was hurting me. I knew Ashley was a slut and a whore but I didn't think she'd ever had a reason to hurt me. It turns out, she didn't need one. But why did she hurt Shane? It wasn't the first time she took advantage of his good nature and faith in her. Eric's and my relationship, however, had another challenge: the chat's resident stoner, Ron. He was always trying to expose some scandal or secret but also pretended to be everyone's friend. He was definitely two-faced. I was always cared of him telling Eric how I felt and that I didn't trust Eric. Eric hated when Iconfided inRon because he didn't trust Ron, either. Eric wanted the whole mess he caused to go way and my talking to Ron just perpetuated it all. That's whenI realized that my emotions had overpowered my intelligence and logic.
I made Eric feel as guilty as possible as often as I could but I still wanted the whole mess to go away. I wanted to go back when Eric and I had no history with and no attachment to each other. I stumbled upon Ashley's livejournals and read anything I could find about her and Eric but somehow she knew I was lurking. She would come into chat from time to time and talk to random people there, but not any regs. I would just pretend I wasn't around and just read everything she typed. She made me shake and my blood run cold, even after almost a year since she and Eric were finished for good, when she visited him and was fat and ugly; completely different from the fake pictures she sent to everyone. When she came back into the chat for the final time and I saw her screen name after I woke up from my name, i just fell to my knees and sobbed into my mattress. Michelle was there to try to comfort me, but I had lost my mind by then. A few days later, I decided the torment was too great and decided to OD. My body puked up all the pills I took on an empty stomach but later that morning Iwas shaking and couldn't breathe well so my dad took me to the ER and I had to go to the loony bin for a day. I felt so terribly helpless that I wrote an 8 page letter to my doctor and she let me leave after only 24 hours.
It wasn't the first time that Ashley came back to torment me. She came back in October 2004, the first time I thought it was over. I couldn't stand it anymore; I couldn't see the two of them together so I stayed out of the chat and got into bed for several months until I came back home for Christmas break. One night, Eric IMed me, wanting to reconcile, claiming he was done withAshley for good. I believed him and came back to the chat on January 1, appropriately. But a few months later, as previously stated, she DID come back. He WASN'T done with her. And I broke down. She did get to see him, but he didn't want to be with her. They were finally over, but I was always suspicious and made Eric feel guilty every now and then, up until we stopped talking.
Once Eric finally got over Ashley, order was restored the the chat and she never came back. She ended up getting pregnant by some guy named Carl and her daughter will be 4 years old in September. the good times. The good times didn't last long, however. People started growing up and getting real lives. The music0 crew began to disintegrate. Max and Lainey invited me to the powerpuff girls chat where I met a whole new group of people with no sex bots. It was full of mostly arrogant scene kids under legal driving age but I met a kid named Josh who was really nice and fun and actually talked to me all night. Augie would show up from time to time as well. But once I left music0, I lost contact with Michelle, Shane, Carrie, and a lot of others. some had already left, like Joe, Melissa, Jennifer, Dan, and Nicole. n00bs were taking over and it wasn't the same. But neither was PPG. I still came into music0 for a while, until Eric had enough of the lies and secrets. I couldn't tell him the truth so Imade up another vague lie but it didn't suffice this time. Instead of telling him the truth, I decided to end our friendship. By the end of the summer in 2006, word had gotten around that I was the biggest fake in the history of the internet. But they still don't know who I really am. Cindy and Eric still made the occasional attempt to reconnect. But as the months and years wore on, their attempts came less and less often.
I decided that the best thing for me was to get back to the real world so I contacted several of my old high school friends and got together with them. I went to see Fall Out Boy with one of my friends whom I've known since elementary school. I even made some new friends and got a new boyfriend. One that I could talk to, not just in an IM window. I think of everyone less each day than I did the day before. Sometimes days, even weeks go by when I don't think of them at all, until a thought of them blindsides me on some idle afternoon or in the middle of the night. But lately I've been thinking about them a lot, even Ashley. I don't think I'll ever completely stop thinking about them, and I know I'll never forget them. But it's a lot easier to deal with the loss when I have a real life to fall back on.
With the help of Max, a hacker from Florida, I stole all her internet aliases from every imaginable program/site. I even found more of her online journals and took them over, too. I told Eric and he thought it was so funny and wanted to join in. I was so relieved because I thought he would be upset that I was still obsessing over Ashley. To this day, I still check her myspace to see if it's still private. I still look at Eric's facebook and myspace. I still see if Michelle has updated her livejournal. She's married now. I've saved chats, IMs, pictures, and drawings from everyone and they're on a CDin my room. I save the pictures I find onEric's facebook. I wonder if they still think about me or if I'm the only one who reminisces about music0. We had a lot of fun. A bunch of us would go into other chatrooms and scroll the star of David on multiple screen names for hours at a time. We played scrambler where the only answer I wanted to get right was Good Charlotte. I was so good at the states game and got so mad when I lost because of lag. I'd laugh so much with those people. I wish I still knew them.
Timeline:
February 2000 I finally get AOL
April 2002 I semi-often visit the music chat on AOL, pretending to be someone I'm not
October 2002 I get comcast cable internet
August 2003 I go away to college
September 2003 I pretend to be 17 year old Blake Randall from Sacramento, California
March 2004 I come out as being gay
April 2004 Eric and I are boyfriend and boyfriend
April 2004 Eric cheats on me with Ashley
May 2004 I find out
October 2004 Eric and I break up and I leave for a few months
December 2004 Eric wants to reconcile
January 2005 I return to the music0 chat
March 2005 Ashley returns and wants to visit Eric
March 2005 I go off the deep end and try to kill myself via overdose, and subsequently go to the ER
April 2005 to December 2005 I steal Ashley's myspaces, livejournals, greatestjournals, xangas, email addresses, and AIM screen names with the help of Max, the resident hax0r of music0
March 2006 Eric finally had enough of my lies and secrets but I still couldn't tell him the truth. We stop talking
April 2006 I try to contact old friends from high school
July 2006 I meet Patrick in REAL life and start dating him.
July 2006 to March 2007 Eric tries to reconcile but I couldn't face the truth and don't respond to his efforts
Sometime in 2007 the music0 crew disbands
June 2008 Cindy, an on again/off again chat reg gets a summer job with Eric at a summer camp and they begin dating
December 2008 Eric moves to Tampa to attend college with Cindy.
Eric We happened to find the music0 chat around the same time. So close together, in fact, that I don't know which one of us was there first. He likes hip hop and smokes a lot of weed so he and Ashley immediately formed a friendship based on common interests. He was my first and only e-boyfriend and he never considered us to be a real couple. I've never gotten over him and I don't ever want to forget about him
Ashley She was the chat's resident slutbag. She played Joe and Shane, tried to cheat on Shane once with Chris (who was dating Lainey at the time) and started dating Eric when she knew that he was with me. She's pretty much a heartless bitch.
Joe He's a little slow, but he has the best of intentions and a good heart. He left the chat not long after it came out that Eric was cheating on me with Ashley, whom Joe was planning to meet in Las Vegas in July 2004.
Shane I didn't know him very well for the first few months, but when we had heartache in common, we really bonded and he's the nicest, smartest guy I've ever met. He didn't deserve to get hurt like he did.He likes metal and hockey.
Chris He acted a lot older than he was. He had a tough guy, punk rock persona but it soon melted away and he showed that he's a sweet guy but doesn't warm up to new people easily. He was tested by Ashley just after he and Lainey started dating, but he resisted her.
Lainey She's the one who told me about Eric and Ashley. She always made sure everyone was alright and did whatever she could to make them feel better.
Jen/Smithifer I met her the very first time I was in music. It was her first time there, too. I don't know what it was that made us instantly click, but she was my first friend from the chat.
Jennifer She was my best friend in the chat, even though I didn't start talking to her until I needed someone to share my dramatic life with. She's a good listener and a genuine person. I could tell her anything and we would talk for hours.
Ron is unpredictable and not to be trusted but I wanted any kind of sympathy I could get from anyone who would listen so I confided in him when I had no one else, despite my better judgment. He was a shape shifter, and I could never tell if he was being serious or not so he made me really nervous.
Carrie she was the first one who showed me her pictures in chat and I was her little brother and she was my big sister. After our friendship changed, I liked to amuse myself by annoying her with Eric.
Michelle We didn't always get along until she told me about how poorly Ashley treated her, too. I felt sorry for her and saw that she really is a good, caring person. She sent me a birthday card she made for me. She was there the night I saw Ashley and Eric talking in the chat for the first time in months before Iwas sent to the loony bin. She was always the voice of reason.
Cindy she was 14 when I first met her. She liked Eric and she told me, so I appreciated her honesty. She said that she wouldn't go after him as long as I was still not over him. After I abandoned my friendships though, I shouldn't mind that they're dating but I do because I still want to be with him and now they're living together. I'm secretly hoping it won't work out, even though she has every right to date him. I don't deserve to get what I want.
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It all started in 2002 when I still had AOLand was allowed only 1 hour of internet a day. I would use it to go into the music chatroom on AOL and pretend to be someone else. Someone I totally made up, but whose life was far more interesting than mine. I didn't get too attached to it and found other things to do by the time I was a senior and we got rid of AOL and got comcast later that year. Ihad unlimited access to the internet but Iplayed neopets every chance II forgot about chatrooms and instant messenger until I went off to college in fall 2003. Freshmen couldn't have cars and I was a social recluse so there wasn't much for me to do but stay in my room. The internet was down for nearly a month because of a virus a freshman brought in with their new computer that ate its way through the routers. Once internet access was restored, however, I downloaded AIM and created a new persona for new people to love.
I called myself Blake, born on March 10, 1986, an 17 year old only child from Maryland who moved to Sacramento California just a couple years ago and loved Good Charlotte and Blink 182. I claimed I was so smart that Iskipped 9th grade. I made up some pretty outrageous things during the first few days to make myself appear worth knowing, because who would ever want to know Robin, an 18 year old college Freshman from Richmond, Virginia who never even left the country, let alone the East Coast. I was a boring person. Boring and ordinary. The first few days I used AIM and its chatrooms, Icouldn't tell the difference between music0 and music1, until a guy named Joe from Michigan told me to come into music0. I was already making friends. People liked me. I liked that. I should've stopped after a few days, but I got so attached that I would stay up all night and miss class so I could make up the sleep that I missed talking to Carrie, Michelle, and Joe the night before.
At first I was worried that Iwould be found out. That someone would track my IP or ask for pictures that I didn't have, or want to talk to me on the phone. It would've been easier that way; I could've just stopped getting online. I could've made a new screen name and I could've been honest. The drama that unfolded over the next few months certainly wouldn't have happened if Iweren't such an attention whore.
I developed a particularly close bond with a girl named Carrie, from New Jersey and one day she confessed to liking me a lot. So much so that it strained our friendship and caused her to lie to me that she was over it. It made talking a little easier but I tried to blow it out of proportion and milk the drama for all it was worth. I complained to as many people as I could about how appalled and hurt I was that she didn't think I deserved to know the truth, and that she couldn't be straight with her feelings about me. It made me sound a lot more trustworthy if I got that upset over someone else's lies.Iadded a twist to the whole situation by claiming to be in love with a girl named Jen, whom I called Smithifer. It was our own little e-triangle. It was some drama, but it wasn't enough. I told a select few people that I was experiencing kidney failure as a direct result of my diabletes I've had all my life.If I didn't get a kidney transplant, I had only 6 months to live. I figured I'd be over the chatroom and my new friends by then.
In my real life, I was experiencing college and living away from home for the first time. I have a desperate desire to please people and I have the hardest time saying no, so I joined a couple BIble groups that were just a waste of time to me. Ifinally couldn't take it anymore and resign myself to complete and total honesty, except on the intet because it's only the internet. It turned out to be my whole life for way too long.
Concerning my situation with Carrie and her unresolved feelings for me, Ibegan to confide in another Jen whom Icalled Jennifer for clarification. Joe began to confide in me about a girl named Ashley who was playing mind games with him and another guy named Shane. She ultimately chose Shane and Joe was crushed but she didn't stop there. She tried to steal Chris away from Lainey while she was still with Shane. And eventually, stole the first and so far only guy I've ever loved. I've never loved anyone more.
His name is Eric and we did not get along at all at first. We clashed over Ashley from the beginning.Even before he cheated with her on me. Carrie and I said what a horrible, heartless, selfish person she is, but he wouldn't listen. Ashley and my relationship was never officially defined as anything. We were nice to each other most of the time, in passing. But we never talked intimately after she thought I betrayed her by talking smack about her behind her back. Maybe that's why she stole my Eric away. But it wasn't until April 2004, only a few weeks after Eric and I decided to date because Ihad recently come out as being gay. Another twist in my internet fantasy life that would haunt me to this day.
Eric thought I was stupid and hyper and a clown. He didn't respect me because he didn't think I respected Ashley, who was still with Shane while she and Eric were gradually getting closer. But one day I said something intelligent and his whole perception of me changed. Since then we were inseparable. We did everything together in the chatroom. We had the same fonts and said the same things and liked the same music and had the same sense of humor. We even liked to annoy the same people. He defended me countless times to numerous people and lost a lot of friends because of it. But he was a pothead and that really bothered me. I tried to get him to stop by claiming that i would cut myself if he smoked weed. I also said that I had a history of mental illness and hospital stays. Apparently the drama with Carrie and Smithifer wasn't enough. I wanted more, and I got it.
Our relationship suffered the biggest blow yet when Lainey told me that Eric was cheating on me withAshley. I couldn't believe it. I was in total shock. I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't leave my bed for days. Eric had to have known what he was doing. He had to have known he was hurting me. I knew Ashley was a slut and a whore but I didn't think she'd ever had a reason to hurt me. It turns out, she didn't need one. But why did she hurt Shane? It wasn't the first time she took advantage of his good nature and faith in her. Eric's and my relationship, however, had another challenge: the chat's resident stoner, Ron. He was always trying to expose some scandal or secret but also pretended to be everyone's friend. He was definitely two-faced. I was always cared of him telling Eric how I felt and that I didn't trust Eric. Eric hated when Iconfided inRon because he didn't trust Ron, either. Eric wanted the whole mess he caused to go way and my talking to Ron just perpetuated it all. That's whenI realized that my emotions had overpowered my intelligence and logic.
I made Eric feel as guilty as possible as often as I could but I still wanted the whole mess to go away. I wanted to go back when Eric and I had no history with and no attachment to each other. I stumbled upon Ashley's livejournals and read anything I could find about her and Eric but somehow she knew I was lurking. She would come into chat from time to time and talk to random people there, but not any regs. I would just pretend I wasn't around and just read everything she typed. She made me shake and my blood run cold, even after almost a year since she and Eric were finished for good, when she visited him and was fat and ugly; completely different from the fake pictures she sent to everyone. When she came back into the chat for the final time and I saw her screen name after I woke up from my name, i just fell to my knees and sobbed into my mattress. Michelle was there to try to comfort me, but I had lost my mind by then. A few days later, I decided the torment was too great and decided to OD. My body puked up all the pills I took on an empty stomach but later that morning Iwas shaking and couldn't breathe well so my dad took me to the ER and I had to go to the loony bin for a day. I felt so terribly helpless that I wrote an 8 page letter to my doctor and she let me leave after only 24 hours.
It wasn't the first time that Ashley came back to torment me. She came back in October 2004, the first time I thought it was over. I couldn't stand it anymore; I couldn't see the two of them together so I stayed out of the chat and got into bed for several months until I came back home for Christmas break. One night, Eric IMed me, wanting to reconcile, claiming he was done withAshley for good. I believed him and came back to the chat on January 1, appropriately. But a few months later, as previously stated, she DID come back. He WASN'T done with her. And I broke down. She did get to see him, but he didn't want to be with her. They were finally over, but I was always suspicious and made Eric feel guilty every now and then, up until we stopped talking.
Once Eric finally got over Ashley, order was restored the the chat and she never came back. She ended up getting pregnant by some guy named Carl and her daughter will be 4 years old in September. the good times. The good times didn't last long, however. People started growing up and getting real lives. The music0 crew began to disintegrate. Max and Lainey invited me to the powerpuff girls chat where I met a whole new group of people with no sex bots. It was full of mostly arrogant scene kids under legal driving age but I met a kid named Josh who was really nice and fun and actually talked to me all night. Augie would show up from time to time as well. But once I left music0, I lost contact with Michelle, Shane, Carrie, and a lot of others. some had already left, like Joe, Melissa, Jennifer, Dan, and Nicole. n00bs were taking over and it wasn't the same. But neither was PPG. I still came into music0 for a while, until Eric had enough of the lies and secrets. I couldn't tell him the truth so Imade up another vague lie but it didn't suffice this time. Instead of telling him the truth, I decided to end our friendship. By the end of the summer in 2006, word had gotten around that I was the biggest fake in the history of the internet. But they still don't know who I really am. Cindy and Eric still made the occasional attempt to reconnect. But as the months and years wore on, their attempts came less and less often.
I decided that the best thing for me was to get back to the real world so I contacted several of my old high school friends and got together with them. I went to see Fall Out Boy with one of my friends whom I've known since elementary school. I even made some new friends and got a new boyfriend. One that I could talk to, not just in an IM window. I think of everyone less each day than I did the day before. Sometimes days, even weeks go by when I don't think of them at all, until a thought of them blindsides me on some idle afternoon or in the middle of the night. But lately I've been thinking about them a lot, even Ashley. I don't think I'll ever completely stop thinking about them, and I know I'll never forget them. But it's a lot easier to deal with the loss when I have a real life to fall back on.
With the help of Max, a hacker from Florida, I stole all her internet aliases from every imaginable program/site. I even found more of her online journals and took them over, too. I told Eric and he thought it was so funny and wanted to join in. I was so relieved because I thought he would be upset that I was still obsessing over Ashley. To this day, I still check her myspace to see if it's still private. I still look at Eric's facebook and myspace. I still see if Michelle has updated her livejournal. She's married now. I've saved chats, IMs, pictures, and drawings from everyone and they're on a CDin my room. I save the pictures I find onEric's facebook. I wonder if they still think about me or if I'm the only one who reminisces about music0. We had a lot of fun. A bunch of us would go into other chatrooms and scroll the star of David on multiple screen names for hours at a time. We played scrambler where the only answer I wanted to get right was Good Charlotte. I was so good at the states game and got so mad when I lost because of lag. I'd laugh so much with those people. I wish I still knew them.
Timeline:
February 2000 I finally get AOL
April 2002 I semi-often visit the music chat on AOL, pretending to be someone I'm not
October 2002 I get comcast cable internet
August 2003 I go away to college
September 2003 I pretend to be 17 year old Blake Randall from Sacramento, California
March 2004 I come out as being gay
April 2004 Eric and I are boyfriend and boyfriend
April 2004 Eric cheats on me with Ashley
May 2004 I find out
October 2004 Eric and I break up and I leave for a few months
December 2004 Eric wants to reconcile
January 2005 I return to the music0 chat
March 2005 Ashley returns and wants to visit Eric
March 2005 I go off the deep end and try to kill myself via overdose, and subsequently go to the ER
April 2005 to December 2005 I steal Ashley's myspaces, livejournals, greatestjournals, xangas, email addresses, and AIM screen names with the help of Max, the resident hax0r of music0
March 2006 Eric finally had enough of my lies and secrets but I still couldn't tell him the truth. We stop talking
April 2006 I try to contact old friends from high school
July 2006 I meet Patrick in REAL life and start dating him.
July 2006 to March 2007 Eric tries to reconcile but I couldn't face the truth and don't respond to his efforts
Sometime in 2007 the music0 crew disbands
June 2008 Cindy, an on again/off again chat reg gets a summer job with Eric at a summer camp and they begin dating
December 2008 Eric moves to Tampa to attend college with Cindy.
Eric We happened to find the music0 chat around the same time. So close together, in fact, that I don't know which one of us was there first. He likes hip hop and smokes a lot of weed so he and Ashley immediately formed a friendship based on common interests. He was my first and only e-boyfriend and he never considered us to be a real couple. I've never gotten over him and I don't ever want to forget about him
Ashley She was the chat's resident slutbag. She played Joe and Shane, tried to cheat on Shane once with Chris (who was dating Lainey at the time) and started dating Eric when she knew that he was with me. She's pretty much a heartless bitch.
Joe He's a little slow, but he has the best of intentions and a good heart. He left the chat not long after it came out that Eric was cheating on me with Ashley, whom Joe was planning to meet in Las Vegas in July 2004.
Shane I didn't know him very well for the first few months, but when we had heartache in common, we really bonded and he's the nicest, smartest guy I've ever met. He didn't deserve to get hurt like he did.He likes metal and hockey.
Chris He acted a lot older than he was. He had a tough guy, punk rock persona but it soon melted away and he showed that he's a sweet guy but doesn't warm up to new people easily. He was tested by Ashley just after he and Lainey started dating, but he resisted her.
Lainey She's the one who told me about Eric and Ashley. She always made sure everyone was alright and did whatever she could to make them feel better.
Jen/Smithifer I met her the very first time I was in music. It was her first time there, too. I don't know what it was that made us instantly click, but she was my first friend from the chat.
Jennifer She was my best friend in the chat, even though I didn't start talking to her until I needed someone to share my dramatic life with. She's a good listener and a genuine person. I could tell her anything and we would talk for hours.
Ron is unpredictable and not to be trusted but I wanted any kind of sympathy I could get from anyone who would listen so I confided in him when I had no one else, despite my better judgment. He was a shape shifter, and I could never tell if he was being serious or not so he made me really nervous.
Carrie she was the first one who showed me her pictures in chat and I was her little brother and she was my big sister. After our friendship changed, I liked to amuse myself by annoying her with Eric.
Michelle We didn't always get along until she told me about how poorly Ashley treated her, too. I felt sorry for her and saw that she really is a good, caring person. She sent me a birthday card she made for me. She was there the night I saw Ashley and Eric talking in the chat for the first time in months before Iwas sent to the loony bin. She was always the voice of reason.
Cindy she was 14 when I first met her. She liked Eric and she told me, so I appreciated her honesty. She said that she wouldn't go after him as long as I was still not over him. After I abandoned my friendships though, I shouldn't mind that they're dating but I do because I still want to be with him and now they're living together. I'm secretly hoping it won't work out, even though she has every right to date him. I don't deserve to get what I want.
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This has been written piecemeal, starting on Saturday in Milan and continuing to the present moment in Berlin. If at any point I change tone, well, the events that have passed during that time should be an influencing factor. Needless to say, it has been interesting. Federico, my host from couchsurfing has been extremely hospitable and has shown me about Milan in a way in which I otherwise would never have had. My total lack of ability to speak Italian coupled with the languages difference from French and English would've made going around by myself nearly impossible. As it has turned out, I've eaten well, slept well, visited well, and met a number of quite interesting people.
First of all, there is Federico, my host. He lives with his parents near the Porta Genova station in southern Milan. His house is in an old smelting plant complex that has now been (beautifully) turned into private homes. His own home is enormous and wonderfully decorated; so much so that it is frequently used as a setting for advertisements, as it was the day I arrived. Apparently that day, it was the Barilla pasta company. Federico's mother, Barbara, sounds and looks like any Italian mother, smoky voice (because she smokes) with dark hair and a lovely expressive manner that indeed does use the hands a lot. All stereotypes, I've found, are based in some part in truth. Federico also informed me she's recently taken up smoking pot, as we discovered coming home the other night. His father, Roberto, I only briefly saw twice, is the editor of one of the daily papers in Milan. His brother, Francesco, is 12, and unlike my impression of most twelve-year-olds (or even seventeen-year-olds, as my host brother proved) he was not a little shit. Pardon the explitive. There were also a whole slew of Federico's friends, his girlfriend, and Diana, another couchsurfer from San Sebastien in the Basque Country of Spain.
Second, there are Federico's friends. I find Italian, like Spanish, to be a lovely language. French is lovely too, but in a subtle, soft sort of way. Italian and Spanish are languages that make you really feel like you're doing something with your mouth. Lots of zz's and rr's and ch's and ss's and tz's. French is muffled in that regard. Federico and his friends introduced me to little bits of Italian slang as well. Whereas the people of central and southern Italy speak dialects of Italian, the Italians of the North (like where Milan is) actually speak pure Italian. However, not content to be themselves, they have opted to mixing their Italian with a whole slew of slang particular only to the city. To say 'What's up?' in standard Italian would be 'como esti' - similar to French or Spanish - but in Milan, they say 'bella zio' - literally, beautiful uncle. Similarly, they have 'spacca' or 'it breaks' to say 'cool!' or 'that rocks!' and 'sbatti' or 'a scramble' for something that is stupid and a waste of time. I also learned the important phrase, 'lei e' ubriaca' or 'she is drunk'. Good to know! Despite my linguistic insight into the Italian language, any effort to speak the language would result in something like me reading a guide book. For questions like 'Where is the Duomo?' or 'How much does this cost?', I'm sure what I'd actually be saying would be 'Yes, the eels are patriotic, Gloria Estefani sneezes at them' or 'Twice now I have had carpal tunnel, once in May and once with your dog'. For more complex statements like 'I like Milan a lot. I'll have to come back one day', I can only assume I am saying 'Milan irritates my teeth like a wet airplane on crack. I have photographs of Silvio Berlusconi naked with the Pope, I will trade you five goats and your grandmother for them."
The events of my time here have been interesting. My bus ride from Montpellier - all 11 hours of it - was not the worst experience of my life, but would probably rate among the top five. Thank god there were no screaming children on board, or I might have just suffocated myself with my gloves. Perhaps that helped to realign my karmic balance, as the rest of my time up to this moment has been spectacular. I had no problem getting to where Federico had told me to meet him, even with my 40 kilos of luggage (88 lbs, more than half my weight) in three suitcases in tow - as well as a bag of groceries, my camera and the ridiculous red poster I got in Ireland (yes Anna, I still have it). After meeting him, he and I headed off on foot to check out the Duomo. Apparently I had had my monumental knowledge (literally, my knowledge of monuments) of Milan confused with that of Florence. Then again, my preformed ideas of Italy are a mix of Roman ruins, Tuscan vineyards, the Venetian canals, Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Alfa Romeos, Mazerattis, and the mafia walking down the street while broad, old men sit gesticulating wildly outside shops, consuming enormous amounts of pasta, and admiring how beautiful all the women are. Like France, Italy is full of beautiful people. Europe is full of beautiful people. Except the English. The English on the whole have been homely to ugly. Maybe it's because I can understand what they are saying that I like them less.
While walking around the Duomo - a 14th-century gothic church that is probably the most impressive edifice to God I've ever been in - Federico pointed out the demonstrators for not just one but two of the official Fascist parties in Italy. Mussolini would be proud(?) to know that his legacy has continued to present day. However, for the millions of Italians and thousands of soldiers of the Allied armies who fought against him, I'm not so sure they'd enjoy this rejuvenation. It was also explained to me that despite the fact that fascism is officially banned in the Italian constitution, these two political parties represent a significant force in the government. These mad, mad Europeans. Still though, who am I to let a bit of right-wing extremism dampen my day. Federico told me he couldn't go into the Duomo because he'd burst into flames, so I went in while he and his friend visited the rock and roll exhibit that was set up in the plaza. (Note: one of the lesser known parts of Vatican II was to construct a giant orbital laser beam that would incinerate any non-practicing Roman Catholic trying to visit a church without returning to the faith. It's the #2 cause of death in Italy, after death-by-tortellini). I can't speak to the hsitory of the Duomo, as I only glanced at the wikipedia article. What I can say is is that it is huge. I could easily fit all my possessions, plus the possessions of my entire family, deconstruct our house, drain our lake, and then maybe excavate the acreage of our property and stow it within the walls of the cathedral with no problem. That, plus an ornately styled marble floor and a vaulted ceiling roughly one-hundred feet or so above my head made it all quite cool.
After the Duomo, we went around to the Via Montenapoleono, which is the major fashion street in Milan. It is subtler and less showy than the Champs Elysées in Paris or... those places where The Devil Wears Prada was shot. Okay, so I don't know much about fashion. Still, the stores there and the clothes and accessories inside were no less impressive. A pair of ruby slippers? 1,250 euro. A Bvlgari necklace? 49,000 euro. Armani shoelaces? 200 euro. Federico told me that even if it doesn't look like it, Milan has a greater concentration of fashion houses and designers than either Paris or New York. Even September, during the Milan Fashion Week, he works as a steward for various events, and basically is beside himself as a stream of beautiful women pass by where he lives. What a truly grueling job that must be. We then went to see the Castello Sfazia (I think it was called that) which is the ducal castle of the Visconti Dynasty of Milan. It was a lot different from other castles I've seen in Europe in that it was in the middle of a city, but was not palatial. It was very much a defensive castle. Sure it looked night, but it would be a practical place to hole up against say, a barbarian horde, or even your own revolting peasants. We wandered afterwards, but Federico explained that Milan is not really like Paris or Rome with a ton of monuments and famous buildings. It's possible to see the whole place in two days. Finally, we went home for lunch, which Federico cooked. We had penne in tomato sauce - simple but very tasty. He also confirmed in explaining how to make pasta and the sauce that my family has been doing it correctly all along.
Saturday afternoon, we walked around some more. I can't recall what we saw. My ever-growing collection of photos will no doubt remind me in six months time. Eventually though, Federico had to go drop something off for his mother, so he left Diana and I to have lunch at a mozzarella bar that he recommended. For all the delicious cheeses of France, they simply don't have an equivalent for the wet white cheese of Italian fame. Besides parmesan, it is perhaps the most famous of Italian cheeses, and not without reason. In Italy, it doesn't get better. My lunch of a big ball of mozzarella with strips of Tuscan prosciutto I can probably say ranks among my top five meals of my life. Magnifico. After lunch, Diana and I walked back to the Duomo and started to head back to Federico's. However, it being a Saturday, and Saturdays being big things in Italy, we were literally elbowing our way through waves of people coming in the opposite direction. It wasn't uncommon to see people just stop in the middle of the sidewalk, in groups of four of five, and start talking. Sometimes they'd try to monopolize the whole sidewalk, with half the party looking into shop windows while the other half behind them near the street pointed at what the others should look at. This, couple with the constant possibility that a car will drive half-way up the sidewalk to park, made getting back a long and tiring process.
We arrived home, picked up some takeout sushi (nothing will ever compare to the real stuff except more of the real stuff), and watched Young Frankenstein. Diana thought it would be a horror movie and so was reluctant to watch it. We convinced her otherwise, and she enjoyed it. After the movie though, more serious business needed tending. Federico's girlfriend Sarah had gotten wind that Diana was staying at his house.
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or Why I'm Never Leaving The US Again
This has been written piecemeal, starting on Saturday in Milan and continuing to the present moment in Berlin. If at any point I change tone, well, the events that have passed during that time should be an influencing factor. Needless to say, it has been interesting. Federico, my host from couchsurfing has been extremely hospitable and has shown me about Milan in a way in which I otherwise would never have had. My total lack of ability to speak Italian coupled with the languages difference from French and English would've made going around by myself nearly impossible. As it has turned out, I've eaten well, slept well, visited well, and met a number of quite interesting people.
First of all, there is Federico, my host. He lives with his parents near the Porta Genova station in southern Milan. His house is in an old smelting plant complex that has now been (beautifully) turned into private homes. His own home is enormous and wonderfully decorated; so much so that it is frequently used as a setting for advertisements, as it was the day I arrived. Apparently that day, it was the Barilla pasta company. Federico's mother, Barbara, sounds and looks like any Italian mother, smoky voice (because she smokes) with dark hair and a lovely expressive manner that indeed does use the hands a lot. All stereotypes, I've found, are based in some part in truth. Federico also informed me she's recently taken up smoking pot, as we discovered coming home the other night. His father, Roberto, I only briefly saw twice, is the editor of one of the daily papers in Milan. His brother, Francesco, is 12, and unlike my impression of most twelve-year-olds (or even seventeen-year-olds, as my host brother proved) he was not a little shit. Pardon the explitive. There were also a whole slew of Federico's friends, his girlfriend, and Diana, another couchsurfer from San Sebastien in the Basque Country of Spain.
Second, there are Federico's friends. I find Italian, like Spanish, to be a lovely language. French is lovely too, but in a subtle, soft sort of way. Italian and Spanish are languages that make you really feel like you're doing something with your mouth. Lots of zz's and rr's and ch's and ss's and tz's. French is muffled in that regard. Federico and his friends introduced me to little bits of Italian slang as well. Whereas the people of central and southern Italy speak dialects of Italian, the Italians of the North (like where Milan is) actually speak pure Italian. However, not content to be themselves, they have opted to mixing their Italian with a whole slew of slang particular only to the city. To say 'What's up?' in standard Italian would be 'como esti' - similar to French or Spanish - but in Milan, they say 'bella zio' - literally, beautiful uncle. Similarly, they have 'spacca' or 'it breaks' to say 'cool!' or 'that rocks!' and 'sbatti' or 'a scramble' for something that is stupid and a waste of time. I also learned the important phrase, 'lei e' ubriaca' or 'she is drunk'. Good to know! Despite my linguistic insight into the Italian language, any effort to speak the language would result in something like me reading a guide book. For questions like 'Where is the Duomo?' or 'How much does this cost?', I'm sure what I'd actually be saying would be 'Yes, the eels are patriotic, Gloria Estefani sneezes at them' or 'Twice now I have had carpal tunnel, once in May and once with your dog'. For more complex statements like 'I like Milan a lot. I'll have to come back one day', I can only assume I am saying 'Milan irritates my teeth like a wet airplane on crack. I have photographs of Silvio Berlusconi naked with the Pope, I will trade you five goats and your grandmother for them."
The events of my time here have been interesting. My bus ride from Montpellier - all 11 hours of it - was not the worst experience of my life, but would probably rate among the top five. Thank god there were no screaming children on board, or I might have just suffocated myself with my gloves. Perhaps that helped to realign my karmic balance, as the rest of my time up to this moment has been spectacular. I had no problem getting to where Federico had told me to meet him, even with my 40 kilos of luggage (88 lbs, more than half my weight) in three suitcases in tow - as well as a bag of groceries, my camera and the ridiculous red poster I got in Ireland (yes Anna, I still have it). After meeting him, he and I headed off on foot to check out the Duomo. Apparently I had had my monumental knowledge (literally, my knowledge of monuments) of Milan confused with that of Florence. Then again, my preformed ideas of Italy are a mix of Roman ruins, Tuscan vineyards, the Venetian canals, Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Alfa Romeos, Mazerattis, and the mafia walking down the street while broad, old men sit gesticulating wildly outside shops, consuming enormous amounts of pasta, and admiring how beautiful all the women are. Like France, Italy is full of beautiful people. Europe is full of beautiful people. Except the English. The English on the whole have been homely to ugly. Maybe it's because I can understand what they are saying that I like them less.
While walking around the Duomo - a 14th-century gothic church that is probably the most impressive edifice to God I've ever been in - Federico pointed out the demonstrators for not just one but two of the official Fascist parties in Italy. Mussolini would be proud(?) to know that his legacy has continued to present day. However, for the millions of Italians and thousands of soldiers of the Allied armies who fought against him, I'm not so sure they'd enjoy this rejuvenation. It was also explained to me that despite the fact that fascism is officially banned in the Italian constitution, these two political parties represent a significant force in the government. These mad, mad Europeans. Still though, who am I to let a bit of right-wing extremism dampen my day. Federico told me he couldn't go into the Duomo because he'd burst into flames, so I went in while he and his friend visited the rock and roll exhibit that was set up in the plaza. (Note: one of the lesser known parts of Vatican II was to construct a giant orbital laser beam that would incinerate any non-practicing Roman Catholic trying to visit a church without returning to the faith. It's the #2 cause of death in Italy, after death-by-tortellini). I can't speak to the hsitory of the Duomo, as I only glanced at the wikipedia article. What I can say is is that it is huge. I could easily fit all my possessions, plus the possessions of my entire family, deconstruct our house, drain our lake, and then maybe excavate the acreage of our property and stow it within the walls of the cathedral with no problem. That, plus an ornately styled marble floor and a vaulted ceiling roughly one-hundred feet or so above my head made it all quite cool.
After the Duomo, we went around to the Via Montenapoleono, which is the major fashion street in Milan. It is subtler and less showy than the Champs Elysées in Paris or... those places where The Devil Wears Prada was shot. Okay, so I don't know much about fashion. Still, the stores there and the clothes and accessories inside were no less impressive. A pair of ruby slippers? 1,250 euro. A Bvlgari necklace? 49,000 euro. Armani shoelaces? 200 euro. Federico told me that even if it doesn't look like it, Milan has a greater concentration of fashion houses and designers than either Paris or New York. Even September, during the Milan Fashion Week, he works as a steward for various events, and basically is beside himself as a stream of beautiful women pass by where he lives. What a truly grueling job that must be. We then went to see the Castello Sfazia (I think it was called that) which is the ducal castle of the Visconti Dynasty of Milan. It was a lot different from other castles I've seen in Europe in that it was in the middle of a city, but was not palatial. It was very much a defensive castle. Sure it looked night, but it would be a practical place to hole up against say, a barbarian horde, or even your own revolting peasants. We wandered afterwards, but Federico explained that Milan is not really like Paris or Rome with a ton of monuments and famous buildings. It's possible to see the whole place in two days. Finally, we went home for lunch, which Federico cooked. We had penne in tomato sauce - simple but very tasty. He also confirmed in explaining how to make pasta and the sauce that my family has been doing it correctly all along.
Saturday afternoon, we walked around some more. I can't recall what we saw. My ever-growing collection of photos will no doubt remind me in six months time. Eventually though, Federico had to go drop something off for his mother, so he left Diana and I to have lunch at a mozzarella bar that he recommended. For all the delicious cheeses of France, they simply don't have an equivalent for the wet white cheese of Italian fame. Besides parmesan, it is perhaps the most famous of Italian cheeses, and not without reason. In Italy, it doesn't get better. My lunch of a big ball of mozzarella with strips of Tuscan prosciutto I can probably say ranks among my top five meals of my life. Magnifico. After lunch, Diana and I walked back to the Duomo and started to head back to Federico's. However, it being a Saturday, and Saturdays being big things in Italy, we were literally elbowing our way through waves of people coming in the opposite direction. It wasn't uncommon to see people just stop in the middle of the sidewalk, in groups of four of five, and start talking. Sometimes they'd try to monopolize the whole sidewalk, with half the party looking into shop windows while the other half behind them near the street pointed at what the others should look at. This, couple with the constant possibility that a car will drive half-way up the sidewalk to park, made getting back a long and tiring process.
We arrived home, picked up some takeout sushi (nothing will ever compare to the real stuff except more of the real stuff), and watched Young Frankenstein. Diana thought it would be a horror movie and so was reluctant to watch it. We convinced her otherwise, and she enjoyed it. After the movie though, more serious business needed tending. Federico's girlfriend Sarah had gotten wind that Diana was staying at his house.
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